Until I Run Out Of Breath
by LowlifeTheory
Summary: The card had already arrived, with a substantial cheque and a letter about one of the small investments his mom had made when he was born. Stiles had sighed sadly, alone in his dorm room, the pages in his hand a stark reminder of one of the many people he loved who would not be celebrating his birthday with him.


'Can I get you anything?' The barman asked. Stiles looked at his watch, the second hand was moving slowly towards the top.

'Nope.' Stiles said. The guy raised an eyebrow at him, and then let out an exaggerated huff before turning away. 'Three, two, one…hey barkeep can I get some service over here?' Stiles called slapping his hand onto the worn counter surface. The guy turned around and glared at Stiles, but Stiles shrugged. 'Can I have a beer?'

'ID.' The guy said squaring his shoulders. He was well built, in a black Henley that accented all his upper body muscles. His hair was dark but his eyes were brown. None the less he reminded Stiles so much of Derek it hurt his chest a little. Stiles held out his driver's licence and the guy snatched it, peering at the picture and the date of birth. He checked his watch and handed the card back to Stiles.

A moment later he set the beer on the counter. 'Happy birthday.' He said as he handed Stiles his change, already turning to serve someone else. Stiles turned and made his way over to one of the tables in the corner, sitting down and sipping the cool liquid from the bottle, it was anticlimactic. He looked around as groups of people laughed together, played pool, relaxed. He couldn't believe he was alone on his birthday, his twenty first. His Dad had called last week to apologise for having to do a double shift, but told Stiles he suspected Stiles would have more fun with his friends any road. What friends, they're all there in Beacon Hills or at their own collages, Stiles had wanted to ask but instead he told his Dad he was probably right.

The card had already arrived, with a substantial cheque and a letter about one of the small investments his mom had made when he was born. Stiles had sighed sadly, alone in his dorm room, the pages in his hand a stark reminder of one of the many people he loved who would not be celebrating his birthday with him.

The door of the bar opening drew his attention and Erica and Boyd appeared, taking a seat on either side of him. 'What are you guys doing here?'

'It's your birthday.' Erica said with a raised eyebrow.

'Yeah, so they say.' Stiles muttered sadly. Erica rolled her eyes shoving him arm, almost knocking him off his seat. Boyd righted him easily, one massive hand curling around Stiles's inadequate bicep.

'Have you heard from…?'

'No.' Stiles said cutting Boyd's question off. 'I haven't.' He knew what Boyd was going to ask, Derek. Derek, who the last time Stiles had seen him, almost exactly three years ago (give or take twenty four hours), was walking away with the Alpha pack, leaving Beacon Hills in Peter's capable hands, sacrificing himself to save someone who would never appreciate the fact that Derek had sacrificed another chance at happiness to save him. The rule was Derek could never return to his pack, could never come back to Beacon Hills, and he had to swear loyalty to whomever the Alpha of the Alpha pack was. Stiles had stepped forward once, wanting to follow, but Derek shook his head. It had been the worst birthday of Stiles's life, and that included the one a month after his mom had died when he was thirteen.

'Hey, Lydia and Jackson will be here soon, and I think Danny and Isaac are stealing a lift with them.' Erica said trying to cheer Stiles up. He shot her a smile, and tried to perk up for their sake, but when Erica and Boyd kissed later, and Jackson wrapped his arms around Lydia's waist, trying to convince her to go to bed and leave the party, Stiles realised how utterly alone he was.

It was five am when Lydia fell into a heap on Stiles's lap and wound her arms around his neck. She rested her head on his shoulder and tucked her hand across his ribs. Jackson glared for a second before joining them, using what was left of Stiles's thigh as his pillow placing his head between Stiles's belly and Lydia's knees. Stiles ran his fingers through Jackson's hair, and remembered all those times his pack had been together, before Derek left, and the time since too. Derek's pack had always stayed loyal to him, including him where possible and always keeping in touch. Stiles didn't expect them to turn up for his birthday, but he was honoured, he felt important to them. He was a part of them.

'Scott says-' Jackson started but Stiles cut him off.

'I don't give a fuck what Scott says.' Stiles muttered looking away.

'He told me to tell you happy birthday.' Lydia said. Stiles snorted.

Three years ago, when Derek and Scott were at loggerheads, when Stiles boyfriend and best friend couldn't agree, he tried to keep out of it, keep out of their way when they were together. Stiles never took sides, but Scott always accused him of favouring Derek. 'I love him Scott; of course I'm going to spend time with him.'

'So you're saying you're taking his side?' Scott said balling his fists and stepping into Stiles personal space.

'No I did not say I'm taking Derek's side, I'm taking no one's side.' Stiles pointed out.

'You are, you'll side with your boyfriend.' Scott moaned.

'Christ Scott, Derek doesn't do this, doesn't force me to pick sides, why the fuck are you doing it?' Stiles demanded.

'You're taking his side, you're doing it now! I can't believe you!' Scott said pushing Stiles into the wall. Stiles just turned and stepped away, leaving his friend to his own bitter imagination.

Stiles eighteenth birthday started with a grouchy Alpha in his bed, sleepy and happy, teasing and tickling. 'You haven't given me my birthday kiss yet.' Stiles toyed with Derek's fingers. Derek smirked and leaned up but his bedroom door opened.

'Breakfast. Now.' The Sheriff said. Stiles groaned and dropped his forehead onto a chuffing Derek.

'I'm holding you to that kiss.' Stiles poked Derek in the chest as he sipped his coffee later. Derek smiled one of those rare genuine smiles and leaned back into his chair.

'You'll get it.' Derek promised. Stiles grinned to himself, Derek had yet to break a promise, and so Stiles figured he'd get his kiss.

Later, when the Alpha pack stood boldly in the middle of the clearing by Derek's old family house explaining to Scott that they'd take him by force if necessary Derek stepped forward past a sniffing Allison and said 'I'll do it, I'll go with you.'

'You'll have to submit.' Red eyes turned to Derek, and he swallowed nodding. 'And give up your pack.' Derek's eyes darted to them, lingering on Stiles who was shaking his head.

'No problem. My Uncle knows what he's doing.' Derek whispered, his eyes never leaving Stiles. 'And my pack, together, they're strong. You're strong.' The last words were directed at Stiles and everyone there knew it. Stiles swallowed and nodded and watched Derek walk out of his life. He turned to his best friend for comfort.

'Plenty more fish in the sea.' Scott had said slapping Stiles on the back. Stiles looked from Scott to Allison and back again. 'He'll be ok, he's tough.'

'You're joking right?' Stiles asked.

'You'll get over it.' Allison said. 'And Scott's right, Derek's a big boy. Chin up.'

'You fucking hypocrites. You two mope around after each other all the time, sour when you're not a couple, and suddenly, today, when I lose the man I love you're telling me chin up.' Stiles snarled glaring at Allison.

'Hey don't talk to her that way.' Scott said with a frown.

'Why, you talked to my boyfriend like that.' Stiles said.

'Stiles-' Scott tried.

'Don't even.' Stiles snapped holding his hand into Scott's face.

'You're being childish.' Scott growled.

'Yeah, well Peter's fucking your mom, and last week I heard him tell Derek he intends to breed her so fuck you.' Stiles said. Behind him Peter snorted. Stiles twisted on his feet and looked at no one as he walked to where his car was parked, his feet dragging over the ground.

'Earth to Stiles.' Jackson murmured bringing Stiles back to the present. Stiles smiled down at him. Lydia had fallen asleep in his arms and Jackson looked like he was about to join her in the land of slumber.

'I'll go, give you two privacy.' Stiles said.

'Nah, it's her time of the month, and I'm not allowed sex until it's over.' Jackson pouted. Stiles shook his head; Jackson loved oversharing. Stiles leaned his head back on the cushions of the bed propped against the wall, falling asleep.

Stiles woke in the middle of the day, Jackson and Lydia sprawled over him, Boyd and Erica sharing a pillow on the floor. Danny and Isaac were talking softly. Stiles half sat up and smiled at Danny, but something on his nightstand caught his eye.

Jackson's keys sat, the Porsche keys, innocently on a piece of paper that Stiles had used several days ago to scribble a security key on to. It meant nothing but it brought back memories of getting home shortly after Derek had left him, left to join the Super Alpha Pack. There on his nightstand were a set of key's Stiles knew so well, keys to his boyfriends Camaro. _'Take good care of her, I'll come back for what's mine.'_ The note said. It hadn't been signed, and the car was in the drive when Stiles looked out the window, parked behind the jeep. Stiles gasped, his eyes straining for signs of Derek, but there was none. He smiled none the less. Later he and his Dad had secured Derek's car safely the in the garage. Stiles took it out a few times a month, usually on a Sunday, driving for hours until he was exhausted, crawling into bed and closing his eyes, imagining Derek had been with him as the familiar rumble of the Camaro engine had carried him around the countryside.

He was stirred from his memory, his phone was ringing. He reached across Jackson and Lydia to answer it.

'Hey, I'm sober and not hung over.' He answered. His Dad snorted down the receiver.

'You won't like what I'm about to say son.' The Sheriff said.

Stiles felt his stomach clench up in knots, his legs aching with the sudden tension in his body. 'Dad?'

'Derek's car, it's been stolen. Someone must have broken into the house.' The Sheriff sounded tired.

'Was a window broken?' Stiles asked.

'The keys were missing from your room.' The Sheriff said.

'Alarm?' Stiles tired.

'Either they overrode the system…'

'Or they knew the code.' Stiles finished for him. Only three people knew that code, Stiles, his Dad, and Derek Hale.

'But I don't understand.' Erica said later as she stood in pink lace panties and a white t-shirt. Stiles was sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall pretending not to ogle her, with Isaac on one side and Jackson on the other. Lydia held a gold dress against herself and tilted her head at the mirror in front of her, and then switched for a silver one. 'He was forced to give up his pack.'

'Maybe they kicked him out.' Boyd said from his place at the foot of Stiles's bed.

'You don't get kicked out of the Alpha pack.' Peter said from Lydia's phone on Stiles dresser. 'You get…shush baby, now there, there.' He soothed a crying baby. 'Melissa, do you mind darling? Thank you. Now, where was I, oh yes, you don't get kicked out, you're in the pack or they kill you.'

'They told him he couldn't come back.' Stiles said thoughtfully.

'Yes that is confusing. They don't normally go back on their word…unless…'

'What?' Lydia demanded. Peter didn't answer.

'Darling, I have to go, but have a good night ok kids, and Stiles, happy birthday, I have a gift for you here, you'll get it when I next see you.' Peter said cryptically, but then everything he did was cryptic.

'Thanks Uncle Peter.' Stiles said softly. Lydia snatched up her cell phone and said a personal goodbye off speaker. Stiles looked at Jackson who shrugged.

'It works for everyone.' He said.

'Even Melissa?' Isaac asked with a frown. Jackson grinned.

'Especially Melissa.' He smirked. Stiles shook his head and smiled as Lydia shot them a glare over her shoulder. He couldn't keep his mouth closed as she shimmied out of her skirt and blouse to slip the gold dress over her hips.

This was one of those times Stiles loved being a part of a pack.

They went out later, to clubs the girls had decided on. It had been a hot day, and the evening was still humid as they walked off campus into town. They had just made it to the street affectionately known as Student Alley when they head it, an Alpha's howl. It was joined by another and another and soon the wolves in their small pack were vibrating and shivering, but whether it was fear or excitement, Stiles couldn't tell. Lydia and Danny shot him worried glances when the loudest and fiercest howl of all swept across them. At the piercing sound Stiles's blood turned to lead, his heart crashing around his chest as if it were the only organ in there.

'Stiles.' Danny whispered softly.

'Let's get in there.' Stiles nodded at the club, and gathering the werewolves in the pack they headed toward the nearest club, past two bounces who were arguing over whether the noises they just heard was some fierce winds or the American Air Force doing a training flight.

Stiles danced with the girls, he danced with Danny, and even for the fun of it, he shared slow dances with Jackson and Isaac, dipping each other dramatically and fake kissing the air, but the closer to midnight it got, the more agitated Stiles felt, and he soon found himself at the bar downing Jim Beam like lemonade on a hot July day.

He looked down at his watch, the tiny hand ticking up to twelve, the last handful of seconds ticking away his birthday. Tension built in the air around him, seeping into his bones, forcing his knee to tremble and his knuckles ache. A body pressed against his back, warm and solid, hot breath ghosted over his neck, rough stubble scratching his skin. 'Told you I'd come back for what was mine.'

'How?' Stiles asked turning his head slightly to the side, his cheek catching Derek's lips.

'I took the pack for my own.' Derek said. 'Happy birthday Stiles.' Derek caught Stiles lips giving him that birthday kiss he'd missed three years ago.

'You're five seconds late.' Stiles said when he pulled away. Derek smiled at him, his eyes flashing red for a second as his hand wound tightly around Stiles's torso.

'Well then, I'll have to stick around and catch you next year.' Derek said tilting his head to the side.

'I'd like that.'

XXX

I'd like to say that this is not a Scott bashing fic, despite the contents. I needed a villain, a reason for Derek to give up on everything, and Scott was the one I pick on I'm afraid. I love Scott.


End file.
